I decided to wig out (i.e. go mental).
Wig out Part 1.
I threw away my face hair cutter and put the head hair cutters away and just let it grow, a beard and longer hair (at the awkward middle long hair stage) later and part one was ready t
o be brought to my adoring public. Initially there seemed to be little if any reaction at all until it started looking like I wasn’t just on holiday for the week. That is when people started stepping out of my way and saying sorry for stupid stuff etc. Apparently people are intimidated by a beard. In my mind I have rationalised this out to only to possible conclusions:1. It is due to the word ‘Beard’ itself being made up of two very unsettling words. The first word being ‘Bea’ which we all know shouldn’t be spoken in any sort of respectable company. The second word ‘rd’ is actually the prefix for the words Reaktivniy Dvigatel which as we all know was the engine in Russia’s short ranged space experiments…
2. It is due to old ladies having beards and looking all round scary and eating olives out of a jar whilst talking.
I think it is more likely the second one.
Wig out Part 2.
I decided that I would try and become happier and do more stuff and be more optimistic. Part two was a complete failure, all it achieved was me becoming frustrated with the fact that I wasn’t getting happier by me doing the same things I have always done. I am not a healthy lad and have found that if I decide to go out and do crazy things that I need to sleep for a good three weeks to recover. The one good thing to come from Part 2 was when I was being the living dead in public I would get comments from aquantences/god/friends/randoms saying things like “You look tired but your beard is awesome!” or “Shave your beard you look really weird with a big beard.” or “My isn’t the weather good today?” To which I would respond “Fine thankyou”. Hmmm looking back on Part 2 it wasn’t all bad after all.
There would have been a part three but my head hair cutters died whilst they were locked away so when I got them out of the cupboard to shave my head (but leave the beard) my head left the bathroom decidedly not head shaven. I am tempted to shave my head with the dog hair cutting cutters but need to check if the dog has a condition before doing so.
That’s it.
